Tuesday, December 4, 2007

my argh list

I'm frustrated.

I need to get healthy. My body hurts. I need friends. I need a digital camera. Owen and Melinda gave us one that they had but it doesn't work. It took 2 good pictures when we got it and now it wont work right! ARGH!! I have so many things I want to take pictures of before we move but....anyway.

My body hurts. My teeth need work. My shoulder is hurting, and lately my lower back has been feeling really pinched.
I'm complaining. I'm struggling to stay positive.

Tomorrow is my day off, it will be better.
I'm listening to doo-wop. Makes me really miss singing with Soleigha. Wish she would talk to me. argh again.

All I do is work and sometimes I feel like I'm missing life. I'm too busy to enjoy it. A week will go by and at the end of it I realize I did nothing except work, and maybe watch a movie.

Tomorrow I am going shopping. I have saved up my tips and I really need new church clothes. I will limit myself to a new skirt and a church worthy top. That will make me feel like I have improved my plot. I get so depressed.

It used to be anger. I used to get so mad I would punch things till my knuckles bled. I used to be so angry. Now I get so depressed I withdraw and lay around.

I dont think Adam ever reads this. He would be upset if he knew I was really depressed

Please stop reading this, this is depressing even to read. I'm stopping.
sorry

argh

5 comments:

kristina said...

I know what you mean! I get so depressed myself and really one of the things that gets me out of it is to do a little shopping! hope you get feeling better!

MOM said...

Loola, fist off...we love you so much and are so proud of you and the choices you're making...

Janet said...

second...there's a fine line between blowing off steam and training your subconscious. I've come to understand/know that the less my subconscious knows about any negative feelings I have the better off I am, the faster I recover. Remember Wally Pratt from the F 1st Ward? He used to say he was "Living BIG" and that means experiencing all the ups and downs in a big way makes one a better person. A big part of that means concentrating on the UPs and not the downs. Down with downs! in fact, (heh- heh) "Get up, you're not hurt!"

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